“What I Carry” – A United Church of Christ StillSpeaking Daily Devotional by The Rev. Kaji Douša

Then, opening their treasure, they offered him gifts. – Matthew 2:11b (as translated by Wilda C. Gafney in A Women’s Lectionary for the Whole Church: Year A) 

I once said yes to something that didn’t line up with my strengths. 

I trusted the person who nominated me, so I accepted. And almost immediately, I found myself in over my head. I promise that I studied real hard. I tried to understand.

I got a bunch of things wrong. A few times, I embarrassed myself in front of people I respect (and about 150 other people). I kept asking myself, Why did I say yes? 

Then one night, I had to preach to myself. Because if someone else had told me this story, I would’ve asked, Where is God making meaning here? 

Slowly, I saw it. I stumbled, yes. But I didn’t fall apart. I fell safely. Someone noticed and told me early enough for me to learn, adjust, and keep going. And as I worked through the discomfort, I started getting better at the very things I was sure I was terrible at. What I thought was outside my giftedness turned out to be a gift that needed cultivating. 

Sometimes we trap ourselves in critique instead of stepping forward into growth. We put a full stop where God needs our becoming. 

The sages carried treasure before they knew exactly why. Scripture doesn’t show them shopping. It shows them arriving, then opening what they already had. In the presence of Jesus, what was precious became sacred.

You are already carrying something like that. A capacity shaped through effort. Could it be a skill developed through struggle? A gift God has been growing quietly? 

Our faith invites us to open what we’ve been carrying and to trust that God knows exactly what it’s for. 

Prayer

Holy One, show me the gifts you are lifting up in me. Sanctify what I carry, and teach me to trust your shaping work. Amen.